Tip Tuesday: Yikes! Where does this Fork go?

I think when you have kids, your manners go out the door. I know why Judah stuffs his mouth full of food, because he sees me do it when I am trying to shove down bites between his. Even if you try to have some form of manners, you still end up with food on the floor.

With the Holidays inching closer, it is time to dig out my recipes for Christmas dinner with the family (yeah, right?). This would also be a good time to review table settings and manners before that day actually gets here, especially since our typical meals are very informal and often messy. I have a whole month to practice.

Thankfully, I have had the opportunity to help chaperon my husbands' annual etiquette class presented by Tero International for his teen students a number of times. You would think I would learn by now, but I still seem to lick my fingers, share food with my kid, stuff my mouth, slouch, and shred my napkin while managing to spill food on myself. Yikes, what a nightmare!

According to Tero International, a company that specializes in interpersonal skills training, here are some DO'S and DON'TS from their etiquette tip book you need to remember when dining.

1. Do try a little of everything served to you unless you know you are allergic to a certain food.
2. Do avoid talking with your mouth full. Take small bites, and you'll find its easier to answer questions or join in table talk.
3. Do wait until you have swallowed the food in your mouth before you take a sip of beverage.
4. Do take a quick sip of water if a bite of food is too hot.
5. Do remember solids (food) are always on your left, liquids (beverages) are on your right.
6. Do leave your plate where it is when you have finished eating, with the knife and fork in the 10:20 I am Finished position. Place the tips of the utensils at ten and the handles at four.
7. Do look into, not over, the cup or glass when drinking.
8. Do butter your bread on the plate, never in midair.
9. Do remember your posture at the table. Sit up straight, and keep your arms (including elbows) off the tables.
10. Do leave dropped silver on the floor. Quietly signal the wait staff to bring another piece.
11. Do point out to your staff stones, bugs, or hair in your food, but do so in a non-combative manner. You'll get a replacement immediately.
12. Do remember an object such as a bone or gristle from your mouth with your thumb and index finger and place it on the rim of your plate.
13. Don't, in serving, overload your plate.
14. Don't, in eating, overload your fork.
15. Don't mop your face with your napkin.
16. Don't spread your elbows when cutting meat. Keep them close to your sides when eating.
17. Don't chew with your mouth open.
18. Don't smack your lips.
19. Don't touch your face or head at the table.
20. Don't tip up the glass or cup too much when drinking, but keep it at a slight angle.
21. Don't reach across another person to get something. If it's out of reach, ask the closest person to pass it to you.
22. Don't pick your teeth at the table, either with a toothpick or with your fingers. If something gets caught in your teeth, excuse yourself and take care of the problem in the privacy of the restroom.
23. Don't push your plate away from you when you've finished eating.
24. Don't gesture with your knife, fork, or spoon in your hand. If you're not using the utensil, put it down.
25. Don't talk about your personal food likes or dislikes while eating.
26. Don't eat your neighbor's bread or salad. A right-handed person reaches to the left across the dinner plate to eat salad. The bread and butter plate is placed slightly above the salad plate.
    

If you are still curious about where that fork goes, remember forks go on the right and knives followed by spoons are placed on the left of the plate. For a simple meal, the salad fork is outside the dinner fork and the spoon is outside the knife. For a formal table setting, moving from left to right with the plate in between you have the fish fork, dinner fork, the salad fork, salad knife, dinner knife, fish knife, soup spoon, and cocktail fork. Dessert fork and spoon go above the plate with the bread knife laid horizontally on the bread plate. Drinks are always on the left starting with the water goblet, champagne flute, white wine glass, red wine glass and sherry glass.

Here are a few other tips I remember from the class that I learned. When eating soup, spoon it away from you. Break a piece of bread off at a time to eat and butter it with the butter on your plate. It is proper to eat both American or Continental style as long as you stay consistent. Your waiter will serve you from the right and clean up from the left.

Sounds like I need to practice. I still think there are times with a kid that you need to break the rules to push your plate away so he does not throw it across the room. This should not keep me from starting with elbows off the table, sitting still, and no singing. I could stand to utilize these tips and even try to teach my son as he grows older. At the least, perhaps we can manage to make through the Holiday dinners without throwing food.

Good luck and remember, "Mable, Mable, elbows off the table!"