Tip Tuesday: Bribery or Reward?

So I think at some point every parent resorts to using what we call bribery to get their kids to do something or not do something. Am I right?

I like to think of it as a reward. As adults we get rewards all the time. Benefits of a job well done at work include bonuses is one prime example. I guess you can say that as humans we thrive on merit and earning a reward. Rewards can certainly motivate good behavior or in some instances deter bad behavior.

Of course we have to be careful of that part of society that thinks we owe ourselves something, in essence a reward, but no purpose except than we deserve it. This fine line has gotten us into all kinds of trouble as a country as we have become irresponsible and unaccountable. Perhaps that is why some parenting literature thinks rewarding your child is bad.

Call it what you want but at times it does come in handy in parenting. I do find myself though disagreeing using food as a motivational tool to stimulate behavior. I think that is a dangerous habit to form and for that reason I have come up with some alternatives.

I have learned so far that something the child really likes can become a good motivator. Try to find something that really triggers your child. Stickers is one idea for a small accomplishment like a chore. A toy may be a bigger reward like going poop in the potty.

Our own objective was to keep Judah in his new big boy bed for nap time. The tool became hand stamping as I noticed the profound effect it had on him after music class. I utilized this medium only for nap time with the rule that he must stay in bed for a certain amount of time. If he did, he got his hands stamped with the stamp and color of his choice. It worked and got us through the transition.

Over time we got away from hand stamping as it was not necessary anymore. The lesson now is that you do not always need something for obeying.

Share your own thoughts, advice, and ideas on the subject. Is it bribery or rewarding? And what tactics have you found yourself using with your kids?