Tip Tuesday: Don't Eat in the Bathroom

This past week has been a rough one for our family. As you've read, my husband's Grandfather passed away. He'd been failing for some time, so it wasn't a complete shock, but I believe no matter how much time you have to prepare, it's always hard.

Yesterday we traveled to Ottumwa for the funeral. We met the rest of the family at the funeral home first, in order to say a few prayers, view the body and follow the hearse to the Church. It was a two hour drive from our home to the funeral home and I knew the baby would be hungry once we got there.

I saw a few open "office" type rooms at the funeral home. I approached a woman who worked there and asked her if there would be an open office where I could nurse the baby. I was being polite. Rather than just helping myself to the open office, I thought I would ask.

I was very disappointed at her response. "There is a bench in the ladies room. You can nurse in there."

I gave her a shocked look. I said, "No thanks. I won't eat in a bathroom and I don't expect my child to either."

She rolled her eyes at me and went into her office. Conveniently enough, there was a bench right outside of her office. And that's where I chose to nurse. Granted, it was a busy hallway (the bathrooms were across the hall from her office) and there was a lot of family walking around, but I had enough foresight to wear my nursing tank under my black suit.

You couldn't see anything "inappropriate" but the moment she walked out of her office was classic. She turned, saw me nursing and talking to family...gave me a stern grimace and continued on her way.

As my husband said, "She seems to show more compassion to the dead rather than the living."

Know your state's law. In Iowa, I am protected to nurse my child where ever I am allowed to be. I could have nursed him in the main hall, if I wanted to. Don't feel pushed into a bathroom. Nursing your children shouldn't be a thing of shame. You wouldn't eat in the bathroom--you shouldn't expect your child to either.

Make Monday: Stepping it up with a Banner!

A few weeks ago, the weather went from one nice spring day back to its usual cold, gloomy mood the next. Ready for spring, cabin fever hit Judah and I very hard. We were starting to annoy each other, fuss a lot, and getting into things.

I decided right then and there that we would do something fun and different to distract our "going crazy cooped indoors" minds and bodies. That is when I got really brave with finger painting with our feet. Yes, I said our FEET!

Judah and I unrolled a large piece of white banner paper onto the kitchen tile floor. I took a marker and wrote "Happy Birthday Dad" for daddy's upcoming surprise birthday party. Then I squirted some washable crayola finger paint on each end of the paper on either side of the words. Stripping Judah down in his sleep shirt (since we did this before we got dressed in the morning), we spent the next twenty minutes walking around on the paper with paint on our feet.

Judah and I would step in the blob of paint and walk around making colorful footprints to decorate the large banner. Next, we dipped our fingers and hands adding hand prints and other designs. Judah laughed at the funny feeling of the wet paint on his feet that made their way to the paper. This fun lasted for a while before the paint started to stick our feet to the paper.

This activity was certainly fun and distracting from another cold, winter day. The fun though soon turned into a little mess. Judah had to wait for me to clean my own hands and feet before wiping down his paint. Meanwhile, Judah was all over the paper, the kitchen tile, touching the cabinets with his hands, and stepping onto the carpet before I could catch him.

The garage was empty where we could lay the banner down to dry. Thankfully, the washable paint on the cupboards came off with baby wipes and the paint on the tile floor was easily mopped with the Swifter Wet Jet. I even just used a wet wash rag on the carpet for the paint spills. Finally, Judah and I made our way upstairs to get dressed for the day.

Daddy could not even tell we painted that day and was very surprised by his big, colorful birthday banner. Painting helped pass the time, entertaining us from effects of cabin fever. And painting on our feet enhanced our creativity and our sense of touch, adding new meanings to finger paints.

My only advice is perhaps do this activity in the garage on a warmer day. Then hose down your "little Picasso's" outside after they are done painting!

Salvation Sunday: Explaining Heaven

If you've been reading the blog you know that my husband's Grandfather passed away on Thursday. He'd been sick so it did give us some time to prepare the children for his passing. We used the term "died" rather than "sleeping" or "passing on".

When I asked some friends how to explain this to my kids, one suggestion was to explain that death was a punishment for Adam and Eve's sin. While this may be true, I knew my 5 year old would "promise to be good" or something along those lines to get Great Grandpa back.

I believe in being totally honest with my kids (with the exception of Santa and Easter Bunny---kids have to have some magic and imagination) when it comes to life. They learn the proper terms for body parts, all of my boys know the word penis and know how to use the word, correctly (we don't yell it in church but we can say it if that's where your brother hits you). So when Grandpa Bob died, that's what we said. He died.

Our topic of conversation has moved on to heaven. What heaven is like, where it is, how many people are there, etc. He's decided that heaven is "in the sky, in the clouds. Angels live there. Great Grandpa Bob is up there...I think he misses me. I think it's happy in heaven because good angels are up there. And that's where God lives too!"

I'm glad he's happy about it. It will be interesting to see what happens at the funeral tomorrow...but I'm glad he's aware about what's going on.

Shuffle Saturday: Discussing Death with the Kids - The Soul Within

*This was originally posted over in Surviving in a Male Dominated World but I thought it would make a nice "Shuffle Saturday" for Mommy's Recess. Enjoy.

We've been blessed. My son knows ALL of his Grandparents and even got to know and love his Great Grandpa Bob. But on Thursday morning, Great Grandpa Bob gave in to his body and gave his spirit up to God.

That's not to say he didn't fight it. We've known for weeks it could be "any time". It was an emotional roller coaster for everyone. I don't even want to know how many miles my mother in law put on her car driving back and forth to Ottumwa. But I'm sure she'd say it was worth it.  

She was the most self-less woman through all of this, always putting her father's needs before her own wants.

I hope my boys care half as much for me as she does for her dad when it is my time. While she faced some hard decisions, she did it with grace. Even though she got more than any one's share of grief for the hard decisions she made, she knew she was doing the right thing.

I know my mother in law and I haven't always gotten along the best. But I know that through it all, she cares for me and I for her. After seeing what she's gone through with her father and her family, I have a new found respect for her. It's almost like a sibling relationship. We pick on each other, but if anyone else says anything about her, I will always be there to defend her.

That being said, on Thursday morning when I got the call, I was at home with the boys. David had already gone to work. Sean and Brendan were napping and I was working on a political article. After hearing the news, I took a deep breath and walked into Liam's room where he was playing with his cars.

I sat down next to him on the floor, took a deep breath and said, "Liam, I need to talk to you."
He looked up at me and said, "Okay, Mommy."
Another deep breath. "Great Grandpa Bob died this morning." Pause. Liam nodded his head. "Do you know what that means?"
"Yeah. I miss him," Liam said with a lip quiver.
"Do you have any questions," I asked.
Liam thought for a moment. "But why did he die?"
I responded, "Because we all die. Do you know what that means?" Long pause between both of us. I continued, "That means you won't be able to talk to him again. You will see him at the funeral, but it is just his body."

Liam responded with the always more mature than his age intelligence, "I know that, mommy. His soul is in heaven with Great Grandma Margie. His body is just a shell. He's not really in there."

Wow. Color me shocked. He's 5 (and a half) and he gets it. He's always been that way. An old soul, if you will. He seems to know more than he should at his age. But maybe that was my doing. He was the one I leaned on while Dave was deployed. I shouldn't call him my "rock" because he was so little...more like "Mommy's Pebble". Maybe he knew more than what I gave him credit for at his toddler age. I mean, he did hear about mortar attacks and his daddy being over there. Maybe it was being faced with his own father's mortality at such a young age that caused him to grow up so fast...and maybe I'm thinking too much.

At any rate, he seemed to understand what was going on. I'm not sure how he'll handle it at the funeral on Monday, but he'll be surrounded by family that loves him, including my father who has volunteered to drive across the entire state of Iowa to sing at the funeral. Dad said, "It's my son-in-law's grandfather. It's family. Singing at funerals is what I do."

And that's what is important at this time. During a family crisis, family needs to come together. My dad only met Grandpa Bob at our wedding, and yet, he's family. Family members care and love each other. They help each other through tough times.

As Liam said, our bodies are "just a shell". 

We need to remember to be nice to each others soul that lies within.

Fool Friday: Happy April Fools!--I was a rotten kid.

You know how parents say, "When you have kids, I hope they're as naughty as you?" If my kids are half as naughty as I was on April Fool's Day, I'm in some serious trouble.

My parents had a water bed. On the second floor of our house. One year, I convinced my brother to stand in the shower, fully clothed and I did the same. As soon as mom came home, we ran out to her car, totally drenched and explained that we had been jumping on her bed and popped it.

We were spanked. Mom was thankful to see her bed (and entire floor in her room) was intact. But BOY, was she mad.

The next year, we knew we had to kick it up a notch. Because that trick wasn't rotten enough. Our driveway was paved and my brother had some police tape he won at a carnival the summer before.

I convinced him to lie down on the pavement while I drew a chalk outline of him. He did the same for me. We then rode our bikes over ketchup packets, picked them up and wrapped the police tape around the trees on  either side of the driveway.

We tossed our bikes in the back and went to hide in the house. When mom pulled in from work, she ran out of her car, screaming and crying. We burst out of the front door with an "April Fools"!

I don't know how she did it, but she was hugging us and spanking us at the same time...all while crying and kissing our heads.

Oh yeah, I was rotten. I think I was grounded that whole summer.

But I've been "blessed" with three creative, smart and sneaky boys. I've got my guard up.