Tooth Thursday: The Dentist with Our 4 Year Old...And I Feel The Worst.

Brendan (4), aka B, had three cavities filled today.  He played with another little boy (his mom called him T and he was 6) with Legos in the waiting room.

B climbed into the chair, and when the dental assistant said, "I have to put this bib on you," B replied, "I know."

I said, "It's not Cavity Carl's first rodeo." He's had three cavities before.

The dentist thinks it's due to a lack of enamel. Dr. Kerby asked if I had taken antibiotics during pregnancy, and I had. And yes, I feel bad.

The 6 year old was in the chair next door. He was SCREAMING. B said, "What's his problem?" The assistant said, "He has to have one cavity filled. They are just putting the bib on him."

B replied, "I have free (3) cavities! And have da bib. And he's older dan me!"
I reminded him, "It's not a competition, dear."

B had "the gas" to help with the pain.

I asked B what he wanted, if he was good. Last night, his oldest brother got a slinky after a good parent/teacher conference. So, of course, all he wanted was a "swinky" of his own.

He sat so very still, he had tears in his eyes, the assistant wiped them away with the bib when they would run down his face. But he never once complained. One of his cavities was between his front teeth, and they had to get special small equipment to help fill it. B was a trooper.

And he got his "swinky" at Target after the fillings. I feel like a horrible mom, for him having low enamel on his teeth because of my antibiotics when I was pregnant with him, but God blessed us with such a tolerant and strong little dude.

Way to go, B. And yes, Mommy is sorry.

Friday: Our Son's School Thinks He is Fractured....

I received an email today, an email no to parent wants to read.

"Hi Sarah!  I just wanted you to know that I have been keeping an eye on Sean's small motor skills and working closely with him on handwriting skills.  If it's ok with you, I would like the Occupational Therapist to pop in for a visit next week just to observe and offer any other activities for me to use with Sean.  Let me know if you have any questions.  Thanks so much!!"

I wanted to write, "He is in kindergarten. He is brilliant, sweet, charming and smart. Maybe he doesn't write his name correctly, but there's no need to have an "Occupational Therapist" visit him. We can work with him. He writes right to left, and it would be better for him to have his parents talk to him, than a complete stranger.

Kids are cruel. If they notice that Sean is being followed by someone that is not from the classroom, he will be teased. He is emotional and strong. He has been since birth. I can imagine if someone teases him, he might react in a manner that may be physical. And his father and I don't want that.

Please, before you bring in an Occupational Therapist, let us work with him."

However,

I responded to the email with, "Please, tell me more. What have you noticed?"

I am waiting on a response. Sean is NOT fractured. He is in kindergarten. He is learning. If you put this stigma on him that he is "different", he will feel that way.

He IS special. He is awesome. He thinks differently.

Maybe it is the educational system that is fractured or broken.

Maybe he won't conform to Common Core.

Maybe he is like his mom.

He goes his own way. He is smart, strong and determined. I am not turning away help, but let his parents help him before you bring in a "specialist."

Edit: I just spent 20 minutes on the phone with Sean's teacher. She is fine with us working with Sean until conferences mid-November.


 

 

Shuffle Saturday: I Have a Bully

I have a confession. My second child is a bully. I'll admit it. But he's also one of the sweetest kids I know. He likes to sit next to me on the couch, putting his arm in mine while watching TV. He likes to sing to his baby brother when he's crying and is always very helpful putting diapers in the garbage. But he can be a bully.

It's a part of his personality. When he was 6 months old in the Jumparoo, he'd bounce, turn back to me and give me a "look" that would scare me. And honestly, not a lot scares me. I am a Ghost Hunter after all.

It's when I get reports from my Mother In Law that a parent claims we need to "get him under control" or that we "should just leave" while playing at the playground or Monkey Joe's. And that makes me angry. Thankfully my 6 year old can explain what actually happened, as the three year old and the other child always seem to have a limited vocabulary.

This post is mostly for the parents of the kid who claims he's been picked on. Get the whole story. Maybe your kid fell on his own. Maybe your kid started it. You can't always believe your own child, I know I don't. And you can't always coddle them. They have to grow up. They have to learn to stand up for themselves. They can't always run and tattle on the other kid. This "snowflake" children mentality has to stop. Yes, your child is special, but so is mine.

I insist on the whole story AND make my child take personal responsibility if he is the guilty party. However, if I (or my in-laws) pay to enter a play area, we will not leave because you embarrass us in front of other parents. I can honestly say that the last parent that approached my mother in law is just lucky it was her and not me. I am a bulldog when it comes to my kids. But I also believe they should be punished if they're the instigator.

I really fear the generation my children are being raised in. It seems every child has learned that if he whines and complains, he can get what he wants, even if he's the trouble maker. I refuse to raise my kids with that mentality.

Be the adult. Don't show your kids it's okay to embarrass other parents. Be diplomatic. Be responsible. BE A PARENT.

Food Friday: BPA Myths

On this food friday, we won't post a recipe. However, I do want to discuss something I think is important for all parents to read. As a mom, I always try to give my kids the best. That's why when this latest BPA scare came out, I wanted to do more research.

I ran across an article that I thought spoke to me well. The author discusses the studies that the media twists and turns and uses to scare parents. 

I have two children, one boy and one girl. While I was pregnant, my doctor never told me to avoid any kind of food packaging. My child's doctor has never mentioned anything about thyroid levels with my boy, and I'm not worried. My son is a very bright, curious and healthy boy. 

Every year, my family tries to travel to Canada for a vacation and I know how strict their rules are when it comes to food. Knowing that Canada debunked the theory of BPA makes me feel even better. 

I store my leftovers in plastic containers. We eat food packaged cans and bags. This author had it right. Even though we're busy moms, we must not allow the media to scare us before we can do some research ourselves. We can not allow ourselves to be scared and swayed. Every mother wants to do what's right by her children, but I've learned we can't take "reports" at face value. We must do our own research and yes, even as the author said, use common sense.

What do you think? 

Shuffle Saturday: Bumbo Recall

Long story short, don't put your baby in a bumbo on an elevated location. EVER. ALWAYS use the bumbo on the floor.

Serious Head Injuries Prompt Recall of Bumbo Baby Sitter Seats - New Warnings and Instructions to Be Provided To Consumers
WASHINGTON, D.C. - The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, in cooperation with the firm named below, today announced a voluntary recall of the following consumer product. Consumers should stop using recalled products immediately unless otherwise instructed. It is illegal to resell or attempt to resell a recalled consumer product.

Name of Product: Bumbo "Baby Sitter" Seats

Units: About 1 million

Manufacturer: Bumbo International, of South Africa

Hazard: If the seat is placed on a table, countertop, chair, or other elevated surface, young children can arch their backs, flip out of the Bumbo seat, and fall onto the floor, posing a risk of serious head injuries.

Incidents/Injuries: CPSC has received 28 reports of young children falling out of the Bumbo Baby Sitter seat, including three skull fractures, which occurred when children fell out of chairs that had been placed on tables.

Description: The bottom of the children's seat is round and flat with a diameter of about 15 inches. It is constructed of a single piece of molded foam and comes in yellow, blue, purple, pink, aqua, and lime green. The seat has leg holes and seat back that wraps completely around the child. On the front of the seat in raised lettering is the word "Bumbo" with the image of an elephant on top. The bottom of the seat has the following words: "Manufactured by Bumbo South Africa Material: Polyurethane World Patent No. PCT: ZA/1999/00030." The back of the seat contains the following "WARNING" - "Never use on a raised surface. Never use as a car seat or bath seat. Designed for floor level use only. Never leave your baby unattended as the seat is not designed to be totally restrictive and may not prevent release of your baby in the event of vigorous movement."

Sold by: Target, Wal-Mart, Sears, Toys R Us, Babies R Us, USA Babies and various other toy and children's stores nationwide, and various online sellers, from August 2003 through October 2007 for about $40.

Manufactured in: South Africa

Remedy: Consumers should never use the infant seat on a table, countertop, chair, or other elevated surface. Consumers can contact Bumbo to obtain new warning label stickers and instructions, free of charge. The new warning label will state: "WARNING - Prevent Falls; Never use on any elevated surface." Consumers should use the Bumbo seat at ground level, but should never leave a child unattended.

Consumer Contact: Contact Bumbo International at (888) 376-4763 between 8 a.m. and 5 p.m. ET Monday through Friday or visit the firm's Web site at http://www.keendistribution.com/customerCare.php

Shuffle Saturday: Those Random Kids.

So today we went on an family outing to the Living History Farms in Des Moines. Yes, we used our free tickets celebrating Museum Day. We enjoyed the day looking at the farm animals, riding the tractor, and running up and down the old town board walk - all thanks to Judah who kept us moving!

At one point we were walking along on the path and this random kid comes up to hang out with my son. He was much older but started playing with him and talking to him. Later, the same thing happened as we were watching the pigs on the farmstead. A girl older than Judah came up to start hanging out with us. She was just carrying up a conversation and followed us from one exhibit to another while at the farm.

Both times, I remember thinking, "where are their parents." I am not opposed to being social or making new friends. As a matter of fact both Judah and I are people magnets as we love to be social.

This was different though. I almost felt like these kids were hanging out with us for the attention. No parents in sight. They were not really being bad but perhaps maybe a little annoying or daring. They wanted someone to talk too. Show off too. Hang with. Tell them no even.

I cannot count how many times this happened to me this summer while Judah and I went places. I recount one instance at the play ground this young girl hung out with us while we swung. Imagine my dismay when she asked me to push her on the swing.

Again, I have no problem with kids. And does not God call us to love and be kind to others.

Rather my problem lies in where are the parents. It makes me sad to think that parents do not care where their kids are, what they are doing, or what interests their child. The fact that a child goes up to a total stranger and starts telling their life story disturbs me to no end. Do parents really not have time or a care for their kids?

It kind of reminds me of the mom who drops their kids off at the mall for a couple of hours. Thoughts?

Shuffle Saturday: Lifeguards ARE NOT Babysitters

I am sick and tired of it. I'm tired of parents blaming other people. Maybe I'm still angry about the Casey Anthony verdict. Maybe I'm just plain fed up with people pointing fingers. But place blame where blame is due.

A death of a child is always a sad thing. Always. And I don't want to cause any unnecessary pain or hurt to parents who have lost children. I guess it just makes me angry when people are always so willing to lay blame on others, rather than taking it upon themselves.

Recently, a five year old drowned in a city pool in our town. And when I read that, my heart ached. That child is the same age as my oldest. And my son is fearless when it comes to the pool and water. However, I ALWAYS make sure he has the swimmie vest on AND I (or my husband) are with him AT. ALL. TIMES.

On my facebook, I shared the link how the child had died and wrote, "So sad. He's the same age as Liam. As a former lifeguard, I know they cannot watch EVERY child in the water. PLEASE, if you take your kids swimming, watch them AT ALL TIMES."

A family member responded, "I agree! Those Life Guards also need to remember the purpose of their job."

Um, no. Parents need to remember their jobs. I responded with, "Lifeguards aren't babysitters. If you want a babysitter, hire one."

I was a lifeguard for two summers at our city pool. I can't even begin to tell you how often we were used as a babysitter. Lifeguards ARE NOT babysitters. We are lifeguards. Still, that didn't stop parents from dropping their kids off at the pool at noon and picking them up at 6.

If we had to close the pool due to weather, forget about it. These kids had no where to go because, "mom and dad are at work and we're supposed to stay here until they come and get us." Great. And then there were the kids who were banned from the pool for a few days-weeks at a time for behavior. When the parents found out, they came down and chewed us out with "What am I to do with him/her during the day? I have to work! You should do your job and watch my kid swim!" Maybe if they'd discipline their child like they did the lifeguards, their kid wouldn't have been kicked out for behavior issues in the first place. Just sayin.

And yes...that is me...three babies and 14 years ago.

SO here's the deal. Lifeguards were not there when the child was conceived. You do not pay them an hourly rate for each child they watched. More people would go into lifeguarding if that was the case. Yes, it is their job to watch the kids and keep them safe. BUT, it is YOUR job as a parent to watch your child AT ALL TIMES.

It's time for people to stop placing blame and start taking responsibility. Lifeguards are not babysitters, parents need to be held responsible.

Wash Wednesday: Washing Those Stinky Feet!!

My boys stink. I'll admit it. They get nightly baths but they stink. They're boys. I think it is in the Y chromosome. I recall being younger, my brother always smelled. He loved footie pajamas but his feet would stink SO BAD. And in the summer? If he ever wore sandals those would stink. I remember mom making him take his shoes off on the back porch and leave them outside because they smelled so bad.

My middle child, Sean, always smelled. Ever since he was a baby. His tiny baby head, instead of smelling like a sweet baby, he smelled like a musty old man...no matter how much lotion, baby soap, powder we put on him...he smelled like an old man. It was his musk.

Now that spring/summer is upon us again, I must face the stench that is little boys feet. My oldest son, any time he wears sandals, his feet stink. I'm afraid "stinky" (Sean) will have the same fate this summer. I even noticed Baby B's (9 months) feet are starting to stink.

I've found that the Target brand nighttime bath soap works pretty well for cleaning and making the boys smell nice. As they get baths at night (because I'm not putting them to bed smelly) they can smell good for a little bit.

Ah, summer. Windows open, farmer's markets, swimming pools and stinky feet. I've missed you.

Make Monday: Make it an Adventure!

It was a beautiful day yesterday. It was finally beginning to feel like spring. While I had a lot of work hanging over my head, I decided to take the afternoon for some family time with my husband and our boys. I usually try to play catch up on my work on the weekends as my husband is home and he can corral the boys...but with snow in the forecast for the end of the week (really?) we HAD to seize the day.

We decided to visit a park that we've never been to...it is near our house and near the Learning Resource Center and City Hall, where I've been attending a lot of meetings lately. I have driven by the park a number of times but never stopped.

We found a place to park and headed for the swings. The boys loved it.

We found a tunnel near the park that went under the road and over to city hall. We explored, we ran, we played. Make it an adventure. Don't corral yourself and your kids to the same park over and over. And get out before the snow hits again!

Shuffle Saturday: Pick Your Battles

Ah, parenting. I understood the phrase "pick your battles" before I had children but I didn't really have to LIVE it--until I had kids.

As a kid, I hated wearing shoes...and socks. I would go barefoot all summer if I could. I practically lived at the swimming pool, that was right across the street from my childhood home. The only time I would wear shoes is when they would rock and tar the street.

I ran barefoot, rode my bike barefoot...did everything barefoot. And apparently I passed it on to my children. My middle son, Sean, HATES to wear shoes and socks. It doesn't matter if it is 90 degrees or 9 degrees outside. He is constantly kicking his shoes and socks off in the car, which usually adds a few more minutes to the trip time as we have to first find, then re dress his bare feet.

Last week, Emma and I got together for a play date. As is his fashion, Sean kicked his shoes and socks off in the van. When I got to Emma's house, I thought, 'I could put them back on him, only to take off his shoes as soon as we get in the door, or I could just carry him into the house and bring the shoes/socks in with me.' And that's what I did. Emma inquired as to why I was carrying him into the house and I explained it to her. Emma laughed and said, "Pick your battles."

I could have fought him to get his shoes and socks on...but it wasn't that big of a deal. Going to bed at bedtime? Yes. But shoes and socks? No.

Toy Thursday: I Bathe With Aquaman (And Other Confessions from a Mom of Boys)

I've considered writing a book about raising boys. It wouldn't be a "how to" book, more like a "this is what to expect" or "yes, my kids did that too" kind of book. Something mothers of boys could read and laugh at. Something, when they feel like they want to pull their hair out, that says, "I survived and you can too."

When we found out our oldest son was going to have a brother at the ultrasound, the oh so common question kept coming up. "Are you going to try for a girl?" My response was polite "Oh, we don't know (insert smile)", for a while. But the larger I got and the more often I heard the question, my response turned to, "Can I birth this child first?"

Shortly after our second son was born (9 months), we found out we were expecting again. Another boy. And more of the same question. "Are you going to try for a girl?" My response changed from irritation to "you know, to be honest, I wouldn't know what to do with a girl!"

Growing up I always pictured taking my little girl to dance and cheerleading...planning her wedding (so I got a little carried away) etc. But I find I've been blessed with three boys. And I wouldn't have it any other way. After all, I finally have someone to watch baseball and football with and you can be a little more rough with boys. Now, I'm not saying there is no chance for a girl in our future...we're leaving that up to God. 

But really? I wouldn't know what to do with a girl. Sure, I could revert to my (somewhat) girlie ways. I wear makeup (daily) and dresses (occasionally) but if we have a girl, with three older brothers? She's going to be the toughest girl around.

Yes, I bathe with Aquaman. And I'm fine with that.

Shuffle Saturday: Dealing With Those "Naughty" Kids--and WORSE Parents

Don't you hate it when you take your kids to a public place, be it the library story group, the play area at the mall or even the park and there are the notoriously "naughty" kids that don't listen?

What's even worse? The parents that don't discipline. I get SO irritated when a kid is out of control and I see the parents watching--doing nothing to stop the bad behavior. Or when they say, "Oh look at Billy. He's learning what it's like to jump off of the turtle slide!" Meanwhile, my kids are watching him do it and look at me funny when I yell "NO!" and Billy's mom allows it.

And of course I'm the "WORST. MOM. EVAH!" because "that other kid was doing it; why can't I?"

I was confused with my first child. He knew not to hit or bite, but how did I handle it when other kids did it to him. I couldn't discipline other children but their parents were not doing the job either! After I had my second son (who is a daredevil and would attempt things he saw the bigger kids do) I made sure to discipline him if  he was doing something that was wrong...even if other kids were doing it.

Now, I know this may seem a little "passive aggressive" but if there is a child who is obviously not being supervised and either being a bad example for my kids or being mean to them, I remove my child from the situation and explain to him (loudly enough for the uninvolved parent to hear) that "just because the other child is being naughty doesn't mean we are" or "thank you for not retaliating. I'm proud that you're the better kid. You know we don't hit/bite/push others over and I'm proud of you for not hitting/biting/pushing back."

You can't discipline other people's children. But, I believe, if you expose the parents to their child's behavior (and their lack of response) that maybe they'll see what is happening and correct it. It has worked pretty well for me. Parents don't like to see their child being the "naughty" one and they correct their child pretty quickly.

So what do you do if your child is in this situation?

Shuffle Saturday: The "Intelligence" of our Education System

*Disclaimer* These views are completely my own. I have not shared my thoughts and feelings with Emma. You may not agree with me, she may not agree with me. But I have to say this.

I've had the "joy" of working with a school board lately. I'm not impressed. I always held these "adults" up to a high standard. After all, they're the ones who guide the school district and our educational system. That being said, I find myself frustrated when I, someone who is 30+ years younger than most of them, acting like more of an adult. Recently we discovered they were spying on tweets. Nice. THAT'S REAL adult. But I believe in the first amendment. I won't censor myself. I guess some people don't like what they see when a mirror is held up to their face.

I've been watching the events unfold in Wisconsin. I understand why people feel unions are important but, in my opinion, they've served their purpose. We're not in the middle of the industrial revolution. Children are not forced to work in textile mills for 16 hours a day. We've grown past that. And to be honest, I think the auto industry wouldn't have needed a bailout if the Unions were not involved. I can't think of any other occupation that pays $50/hour plus benefits plus pension that only requires a high school diploma.

The teachers in Wisconsin are upset they may lose their collective bargaining with the union. These "educators", who use "think of the children" ad nauseam in arguments about funding, apparently forgot their mantra and refused to go to work. So what's more important? Educating children or what your union heads say. 

Who is suffering because of all of this? The kids. It's not their fault the State of Wisconsin is in the red. And it's not the fault of the Governor, either. If the public sector followed the private sector's lead, they would have been making cuts years ago.

Two years ago, I took a pay freeze in order to save jobs at the company I was working at. Meanwhile teachers were still getting raises. And now they're hurting. The public sector was very short sighted during the recession. Hurt now or hurt later. They chose later. Which is now.

If teachers want to continue to use "won't someone think of the children" maybe they should put their money where their mouth is. Think of the children. Do your job. Don't cause schools to close so you can protest.

And speaking of "adults", I'm irritated at the stunt the Democrats in Wisconsin pulled. They, for lack of a better term, "took their ball and went home." Again, adults. DO YOUR JOBS.

What kind of an example is this teaching our children? Don't like what people say? Don't go to work.  How about these "adults" go back to Wisconsin, represent their district and do their job. If anyone in the private sector ran away from work/failed to show up so they could protest their boss, they'd be fired. Simple as that.

It's time for the public sector to do what the private sector has been doing for years. The public sector can't outpace the private sector in compensation and benefits for years and believe it won't catch up to them. If they do, I worry about sending my children to a public school. They may be better off if I teach them. I know I won't cancel their education if I don't get paid. Then again, I DO "think about the children".